Favorite Memory

I've found it useful to write down, share, and recollect my favorite memories with friends. Indulging in a favorite memory helps me see what is so special about a particular friend or friendship, so I try to be as specific as possible. For example, when asked what is a favorite memory about a college friend, I try to remember a particular event or a specific moment in time. Many people will say, "Freshman year in the dorms" or "Spring Break in Cabo." Freshman year in the dorms is not a memory; it is a vague reference to thousands of memories that happened with hundreds of people over the course of a year.

Case in point, when I was traveling around the world, I met and hung out with a soul surfer named Garth. Garth lived on a permaculture farm in South Australia in a 3-wall shack with no running water, telephone or electricity. One of my favorite memories with Garth was when we were eating a delicious vegan meal in the shack. Since the shack only had 3 walls the wind would blow straight in your face on certain days. Garth grew all his own food and used to have us pee in a bucket which he would dilute and use as fertilizer. On this particular day the wind was blowing the smells from the piss buckets into the shack. I was freaking out about having the smell of piss in the shack while we were eating. Garth said, "There are no bad smells or good smells, only strong smells and weak smells. Your mind judges the smells as good or bad." This equanimity and optimism really captures who Garth is. I often find that when I am upset that I am judging certain things or people as bad. When I simply see these occurrences or people without judgment, I have an easier time being happy. If I would have said that my favorite memory with Garth was "hanging out in Australia," I might have forgotten this magical moment and lesson.